Let's put ourselves in a hypothetical situation for a moment. For the sake of argument, let's say we've found ourselves in a benign fascist dictatorship, ruled by a megalomaniac with reverse psychosis, an unrelenting, overpowering connection to other humans and an unquenchable urge to satisfy their every need, protect them from every possible harm. Let's assume that, having wiped out crime by redistributing the nation's wealth so that none would ever want and enforcing laws the greedy would break with painful public executions, removed widespread disease by making healthcare readily accessible, paid for by the nation's government, and declared an isolating planetary neutrality with open borders to those that fit certain criteria. No nation is without fault, of course, and our imaginary one is no different, but it's trying.
One day every citizen of our nation receives a letter in the mail from their government, their ruler, their Manager of sorts, the human these people have chosen to represent them all, to drive the state along to its best interests. When one opened the letter and scrambled through the jargon and traditional formality, one found a simple question: "What is your greatest pet peeve?"
The question arose on a sleepless night in The Manager's home, a penthouse apartment in the center of our nation's Metropolis. He had done a great deal for his fellow citizens, but not all of them were convinced he represented their best interests and who cried injustice for not being able to suggest a replacement. The Manager had had a talk with one of these citizens and the answers he could have given were only just arriving.
I read his letter over dinner. Now, as I struggle to sleep, my own answers are coming to mind.
I've narrowed it down to two, a duel between two observances in my travels. The first, if I had to nail it down, would consist of one word. The word describes a great deal, so much that you can't expect the same mental image from two different observers, which is the main reason I'm at an impasse with my decision. I'd like to say it, as I feel it best represents my answer to The Manager's query, but because one cannot deduce precisely from my answer leaves me with doubt. After all, this is a question from The Manager; you've got to take it seriously. If he were to read that answer he might turn Fuhrer and eliminate any outward showing of ignorance within the country's borders. No, we've got to be brain surgery, we can't leave any room for doubt. That's why The Manager gave us plenty of room to explain ourselves. He can be dangerous, but damn if the man doesn't think of everything. It's easy to be reminded why he's in charge; his presence is incredibly relaxing, soothing; Our Manager is very much like marijuana, complete with psychosocial paranoia and short-term memory loss.
Let's not forget the definition of "pet peeve", it is vital that we do not confuse it with other forms of negative stimulation, specifically major, global annoyances, legitimate problems within the human race that need to be corrected, something the entire race can agree on. Pet peeves are more intimate, they are "minor annoyances that an individual identifies as particularly annoying to him or her, to a greater degree than others may find it."
I'm not entirely surprised The Manager posed this question to his people. It exposes his humanity, illustrates his devotion to our species, our citizenry, shows he's really trying to make things as good as they can be on this planet. I'm not sure what he'll do with the results, but most likely he'll tally them all up and use whatever gets the most votes as our latest scapegoat. After all, things have been quiet lately; a stimulus is needed to continue the nation's interest in continuing the struggle of existence as opposed to shrugging off that universal burden in one collective bang. Good cannot exist without evil. Our Manager knows that only too well.
Here is the word I'm thinking of writing: "Ignorance."
To fully understand my answer, you must bear in mind the difference between ignorance and stupidity, that ignorance is a lack of knowledge, whereas stupidity is a lack of necessities necessary to make use of this knowledge were one to have it. I don't want anyone, particularly The Manager, to misconstrue the meaning of my reply, which is partly why I tremble on my decision, the other reason being that ignorance may not qualify as a pet peeve, that it may be a fully accepted annoyance, perhaps even a legitimate problem. I don't know for certain The Manager's motives in sending these line-long surveys, but I would like to be helpful regardless, for, despite my concerns, I did agree he was the best of our bunch, the most capable. I still believe this.
We have built machines that store knowledge for us, making necessary information easily accessible. In this nation, then, especially, there is little excuse for ignorance. We are a moderately wealthy nation; we have no budget for defense and military might, so more of our GNP goes toward the best interests of the nation. Almost every citizen, barring those with disabilities and those cast out by our society, have easy access to the world's largest library of information.
Ignorance isn't always inexcusable. Our lives are only so long; we can't be expected to see every wonder the world has to offer, absorb every name, every action. Even with the advent of computers, there is more on this planet alone than can be fully experienced, let alone the advances made by other inhabited planets. One could devote one's life to seeing every inch of the planet, watching every film ever made, reading every book, absorbing any argument, becoming intimately aware of another person's body, and it would be unlikely for one to achieve success. Even if one did succeed, there would be so many deficiencies in their knowledge of other matters they'd seem a fool to almost all, save those with similar interests.
Such is the story of society.
A candidate for the President of the United States made the contention that once one possessed knowledge, one had an obligation to do something with it. Interesting words.
Blissful ignorance. There is something to that. It is both the most and least excusable form of ignorance, the active decision to remain ignorant in preference to one's self, to be only concerned with one's own emotions, tantamount to all others. I understand the desire, sometimes I try it on for size, but I can't fit, I have to understand.
Time to go back to our imagination. Let's assume that, having written this answer and returned it from whence it came, The Manager reads my response and takes interest in it. Let's imagine that he is taken by the reply and spends a great deal of his time pondering it. He becomes frustrated, confused, this singular answer is not enough. It conveys so much. It is what we call a "blanket statement". Instead of moving on to the next submission he opens a new text file on his computer and begins to type.
"Dear Mr. Robin,
I have just read your answer to my question and I must confess I am not satisfied. Although I could, I will not require you to elaborate, I simply wish to encourage you to isolate exactly what instance of ignorance affects you most and relate it to me. Are you perturbed by ignorance of laws, ignorance of convention, ignorance of emotion? What singular moment in your life has most upset you towards the quality of ignorance?
Reply only if you wish. Take all the time you need to formulate your elaboration. Do not take advantage of my interest, for I could focus on a great deal apart from you and never grow weary.
I wish you a pleasant day,
The Manager,
Martin Copper"
My my. What an honor, to ever so briefly capture the attention of a man of such stature. It would be rude to ignore his request, but I would not deny him the information regardless.
Here is what I plan to send Our Manager in regards to his request for elaboration:
"Dearest Manager,
Thank you for taking the time to give interest to my response to your query. I hope you will forgive me for this, but after much deliberation I have come to another one-word conclusion.
Bigotry.
All the best,
Mr. Robin
I hope that will satisfy him.
By the way, the other answer I was thinking of giving was this: people chewing food with their mouth open.
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